What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
how do flat chested girls get laid?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
