Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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