We're facebook friends in real life
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
