make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
