wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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