Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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