We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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