I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
