Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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