dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
