It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
