I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
