Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
BRING THE BAGELS
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
