Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
