Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I am mentally ready for anal.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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