He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
