I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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