WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
