Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
A bitchslap is in order.
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