false alarm. still invincible.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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