You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
