She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
You smell like stripper and shame
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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