so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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