Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize