Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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