you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
