I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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