I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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