You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Randomize
