I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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