Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
