fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
