i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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