What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
