I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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