DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
