I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
