I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
