Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
