Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
