I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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