shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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