maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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