I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
