If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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