My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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