every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Randomize
