She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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