Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
