fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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