Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
