I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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