So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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