peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
