No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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