No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
