Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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