and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
